Friends..

I often feel alone. I do have my fiancee and my cats and my family. But friends? Sure I know alot of people.. but there are so few that I can call friends. Dont think I even have any close friends anymore. When I was young I had several close friends and a bunch of normal friends. I was never alone..
Is this part of growing up? Or is it me?
I notice I have a hard time to keep friends. Even if I feel alone and would do anything to feel apriciated and loved by others.. I fear them. Im scared that they will think bad of me. that they will think Im weird and not worth the effort. So I drag myself away from them.. And then I sit there alone.. wishing I wasnt.